It’s Slammy Season in the land of World Wrestling Entertainment, folks, as the annual awards ceremony will take place tomorrow on Monday Night Raw, live from the Key Arena in Seattle, Washington. It’s a time where wrestlers in the WWE are commemorated for their awe-inspiring, hilarious, ridiculous or just plain weird performances throughout the year. Today, ‘Under the Spotlight’ presents my preview/analysis of the 2013 WWE Slammy Awards. I’m going to say who I think should win a Slammy in each category and explain why, briefly referring to last year’s winners as well. Let’s see how this goes!
Extreme Moment of the Year (presenter: Mick Foley)
Nominees:
-The Shield triple powerbombs The Undertaker through an Announce Table.
-Ryback spears John Cena through the LED Light Board at Extreme Rules.
-CM Punk exacts vengeance on Paul Heyman at Hell in a Cell.
-The Wyatts crush Kane at SummerSlam.
This year wasn’t overly filled with Extreme moments, but we did get some good ones. To be honest, I’m pretty surprised that no moments from Money in the Bank were nominated, but whatever. It is a difficult category to choose from, but personally I’d go with The Shield putting The Undertaker through the Announce Table. I know they’re probably going to break up soon, but The Shield have been such a fantastic trio, and this was just one of the moments that make them one of the best factions in WWE History. Ryback spearing John Cena through the stage at Extreme Rules was cool, but it wasn’t much to write home about. The feud was extreme…-ly bad. In contrast, CM Punk whipping the shit out of Paul Heyman with a Kendo Stick was awesome, but a poor way to end their rivalry. The way Heyman miraculously got out of competing inside the Cell was dumb, and the whole match was pointless because you knew what was coming. The Wyatt Family crushing Kane was pretty badass, but it’s strange that the most extreme moment of a ‘Ring of Fire’ match happened afterwards. It was cool, yeah, but it gave us Corporate Kane, so it sucked. The Shield have this one in the bag, because if you man-handle ‘The Deadman’, you deserve an award. Three dudes throwing an old veteran through a table? EXTREME.
And the Slammy goes to: The Shield
“This Is Awesome” Moment of the Year
If you’re looking at this one based on last year’s categories, I guess this was the ‘Tell Me I Didn’t Just See That (Most Shocking Moment of the Year)’ Award, but they changed it to this. There hasn’t been a list of categories for this award yet, so I can really just go based on my own opinions. They tried to recreate last year’s winner back in January and it did not work. Kofi Kingston got the Slammy in 2012 for saving himself from elimination in the Royal Rumble Match, by standing on his hands and walking with them over to the Steel Steps. It really was a tremendous feat of athleticism. This year they wanted him to do something similar, and it didn’t really click. I understand that he didn’t go with the original plan, but it still sucked. Kingston avoided elimination by landing on Tensai, who then placed him on the Announce Table before leaving. Kingston grabbed JBL’s chair and used it to hop from the table to the ring. It wasn’t very good… I suppose this year’s winner could be one of the amazing moments from Money in the Bank, because believe me, there were a lot of them. It was an amazing Pay-Per-View. But for me, there was one outstanding moment that made me think (excuse the cliché) “This is Awesome”, and that was Chris Jericho’s return as the second participant in the Royal Rumble Match. I don’t think anyone was expecting that, which made it even more exciting. It was one of the few moments of 2013 that gave me Goosebumps. It probably won’t even be nominated, but it deserves to be, because Chris Jericho really pulled the wool over our eyes with that one.
And the Slammy goes to: Chris Jericho
“LOL!” Moment of the Year (presenters: Road Dogg & Billy Gunn)
Nominees:
-The Rock Concert at the 20th Anniversary of Raw.
-Vickie Guerrero is fired as Raw GM.
-Titus O’Neill throws up on JBL, Michael Cole, and Zeb Colter on SmackDown.
-The Great Khali and Jinder Mahal try to charm Santino’s cobra on SmackDown.
It looks to me like The Rock will be running away with this Slammy for the second year in a row. Seriously, you could not nominate less funny moments for the “lol” Slammy. Rock’s concert was not his best work at all. Making fun of Vickie Guerrero and Paul Heyman? What’s the point? And they weren’t even original songs, he just replaced words in other songs (for example, he went all Eric Clapton on Vickie’s ass). And I’m tired of Vickie and Heyman, amongst other people being picked on for their size. With all of the progress that’s being made in the world with regards to discrimination (although it still needs significant improvement), one type of discrimination that goes unnoticed is that towards the larger man/woman. Seriously, it’s getting old, fast. And I’m not just saying that because I’m a big dude myself. I don’t believe in racism or homophobia, yet I’m neither black nor homosexual. It’s a cheap form of insult and it’s degrading to a large portion of the WWE audience, myself included.
Then there’s Vickie Guerrero getting fired. It wasn’t that funny, if you ask me. It certainly didn’t provoke a “lol” out of AOB. It was just a thing that happened. Vickie got fired, Brad got hired, Vickie screamed a lot and that was it. I wouldn’t go as far to nominate it as the funniest moment of the year. Ha-ha, she got fired, she’s like a large portion of the population becoming unemployed in this economy. That’s hilarious. Oh, wait, now she’s the General Manager of Smackdown a day later, so it doesn’t even matter.
Titus O’Neil puking on Zeb Colter, JBL and Michael Cole was not funny. ‘Disgusting’ would be a more suitable adjective. I don’t even know what else to say about that. You have to wonder; is the WWE Creative team high or something when they write this shit?
And then there was the most racist thing I’ve seen on WWE TV in my life, when Jinder Mahal and The Great Khali tried to charm Santino Marella’s cobra. Firstly, IT’S NOT A REAL SNAKE. Secondly, Jinder Mahal is from Canada. And thirdly… it’s just so racist! How the hell can you even consider this funny and not terrible? Just go away…
I guess you just have to go with last year’s winner, given the fact that it is who it is, and it’s probably the lesser of four evils. The Rock’s winning segment was so much better last year. Re-enacting the Boston Tea Party with John Cena’s merchandise? That’s good stuff! Probably too comical for a Wrestlemania main event feud, but it was funny as hell nonetheless. If Rocky does ever, AND THE ROCK MEANS EVER, come back, hopefully he steps his “funny” up a bit. If not, just stop it altogether. His so-called humour almost ruined some great promos with CM Punk this year, so he definitely needs to tone it down a bit. Regardless, I feel like he’ll have at least one more bit of gold coming his way, this Monday Night. Let’s just hope he’s around to accept it… Live via Satellite.
And the Slammy goes to: The Rock
Breakout Star of the Year
I’m not sure if there was a Breakout star that won last year, but Ryback won ‘Newcomer of the Year’, so that’s kind of similar (but not really). There was only one person that truly came out of his shell this year and proved why he is the greatest technical wrestler in the WWE. Daniel Bryan started the year as a comical act alongside Kane, but after losing the WWE Tag-Team Championship, he had bigger fish to fry. The WWE fans in every arena cheered their lungs out for Daniel Bryan, and because of it, he was granted an opportunity to face John Cena for the WWE Championship at the second biggest PPV of the year, SummerSlam. AND HE BEAT HIM. CLEAN. It doesn’t matter if he lost immediately afterwards, it doesn’t matter if he’s not in main events anymore (and John Cena is). The fact of the matter is that little ol’ Daniel Bryan pinned the WWE’s poster boy, for the WWE Championship. You can’t get any better than that.
And the Slammy goes to: Daniel Bryan
Trending Now (Hashtag) of the Year
I don’t really keep up to date with WWE fans and their trending topics on Twitter. Especially not this year anyway. Last year’s winner was Ryback with the hashtag #FeedMeMore, so he probably came out, waved his arms around and shouted a little bit. I still don’t quite get that guy… Anyway, there is one particular hashtag that I remember from January, and that one was yet another example of The Rock’s handiwork. You’ll recall early in the year, when The Rock got #Cookiepuss trending worldwide, because he called CM Punk that. That’s really all I can remember, and I don’t know the nominees yet, so yeah. Not quite as long-running as Ryback’s but it got the people tweeting and talking, so that’s all that matters.
And the Slammy goes to: The Rock
Fan Participation Award (presenters: The Prime Time Players)
Nominees:
-Fandango-ing.
-Yes! Yes! Yes!
-Let’s go Cena/Cena sucks!
-What’s up!
Wrestling is nothing without an audience. If they’re not screaming their heads off, the wrestlers have no energy to feed off from the crowd. If the fans have no reaction, you’re doing something wrong. Sometimes all it takes is a simple catchphrase like last year’s winner “Feed Me More”, but more often than not, the fans’ reaction is dictated by the action happening in the ring, and vice versa. However, sometimes fans will completely disregard what’s happening in the ring, and have their own fun, which makes for some hilarity. Past the “What’s up” chants and even the “Let’s go Cena/Cena Sucks” stuff, there are some great chants that get the crowd going. Whether it’s singing a wrestler’s catchy entrance theme (like the inception of Fandango-ing the night after Wrestlemania), or they’re chanting “Yes! Yes! Yes!” to signify their love for Daniel Bryan (a chant that my Wrestlemania 28/Raw crowd started, I’ll have you know), the WWE Universe often make their own fun. While I feel like the “Yes!” chant should just always win by default, because it’s so awesome (and I wouldn’t be surprised if it did win), Fandango-ing was so random and hilarious that it needs to take this award. The fans in New Jersey that night started something that still happens today (not much, but enough), and the fact that it started from nothing makes it all the more deserving of an award.
And the Slammy goes to: Fandango-ing
Insult of the Year (presenter: The Miz)
Nominees:
-Stephanie McMahon insults Big Show
-AJ goes off on “Total Divas”
-Paul Heyman’s insults toward CM Punk
-Zeb Colter’s insults
We have some interesting nominees for this category. Ones that definitely out-do last year’s winner, that’s for damn sure. John Cena took home this Slammy in 2012, for saying something about Vickie Guerrero and Dolph Ziggler’s nuts. This year, we’ve seen much more thought-out insults, some which have added even more animosity to the feuds they’re dealing with.
Stephanie McMahon’s insults towards Big Show, about being poor, having no prospect of employment after WWE and not being able to “measure up” with his wife were deeply personal. Towards the end of the rivalry, Big Show’s anger was hugely believable and exciting after the weeks of torment he’d been put through at the hands of The Authority.
AJ Lee proved why she is the best Woman in the WWE, by saying exactly what we were thinking about the “Total Divas”. She really went all ‘no holds barred’ on those girls, even mentioning how some of them only got there by “sucking… up” to the right people. And despite the reaction to her harsh words almost half a year ago, AJ Lee still remains the WWE Divas Champion. That just proves her statements to be true, she is in fact, better than the “Total Divas”.
Zeb Colter has been such a treat to watch this year. I honestly never thought I’d be happy to see someone come out and complain about illegal immigrants, but this guy proved me wrong. Some of his stuff is so good, that he can brainwash entire arenas (including myself) into joining him in his “We the People” salute. He’s not just a racist, he’s a racist with panache.
Paul Heyman and CM Punk’s rivalry ended off on a dampening tone, but towards the start, we saw some of the best promos that the entire year had in store for us. This was not just another rivalry. This was between two of the best talkers in the business, who also happen to know each other extremely well. The chemistry between these two men was out of this world, because it was based on real life. Heyman had taken CM Punk under his wing, and his cruel words towards his former protégé, saying that Punk was only the Best in the World because of Paul Heyman, were emotional and heart-felt. These promos were fantastic, and Heyman’s words transcended every silly little insult that the year had to offer (including John Cena’s winning one-liner last year), because it was personal and believable. If anybody deserves this Slammy, it’s Paul Heyman. The guy could use an award right about now.
And the Slammy goes to: Paul Heyman
Beard of the Year
This should just be the Daniel Bryan award. He has the best beard in the WWE, and that’s not going to change unless he shaves it off. Although we’ve seen the arrivals of some spectacularly bearded individuals (The Wyatt Family), last year’s winner will be taking home this Slammy for the second time in a row. Respect the Beard!
And the Slammy goes to: Daniel Bryan
Diva of the Year (presenter: Eve)
Nominees
-AJ Lee
-The Bella Twins
-The Funkadactyls
-Natalya
-Kaitlyn
-Eva Marie
It’s great to hear that the beautiful, talented Eve Torres is coming back to present this award, because it has been a rather big year for the WWE Divas. With the debut of ‘Total Divas’, the female roster, whether they’re on the show or not, has received much more time on weekly WWE television. It’s great for them. However, if that untalented, uncharismatic, undeserving Eva Marie happens to win this Slammy, I’m going to put my head through the TV screen. You’ve been warned. The Funkadactyls don’t deserve it either, particularly Cameron. The Bella Twins and Natalya haven’t done much outside the show, and Kaitlyn seemingly went off the radar for a number of months. Which leaves last year’s winner. Last year, AJ Lee kissed a lot of dudes (she won a Slammy for that too), became the General Manager of Raw for a while, turned heel and moved on to Dolph Ziggler. She won the Slammy for all of that, but this year she has done so much more. She won the WWE Divas Championship, which she still holds today (and to prove how much she loved that moment, she has the date of her victory tattooed on the back of her neck). She’s completely owns her character as the crazy, psychotic, cute, awesome, nerdy girl, and like I said before, her promo work is nothing to be laughed at, seeing as she completely tore the Total Divas asunder. Nobody deserves this more than the spectacular, AJ Lee.
And the Slammy goes to: AJ Lee
Double-Cross of the Year (presenters: The Shield)
Nominees
-Triple H Pedigrees Daniel Bryan allowing Randy Orton to win the WWE Title at SummerSlam.
-Shawn Michaels Superkicks Daniel Bryan at Hell in a Cell.
-Mark Henry feigns retirement before attacking John Cena.
-Paul Heyman betrays CM Punk at WWE Money in the Bank.
I honestly don’t even care. There were some pretty awesome betrayals/double-crosses this year, but none of them were quite like Mark Henry’s. Sure, Triple H pedigreeing Daniel Bryan was cool, but it was predictable. Paul Heyman hitting CM Punk with a Ladder and busting him open at Money in the Bank was awesome too, and it would be in second place if you ask me. Shawn Michaels kicking Daniel Bryan at Hell in a Cell was meh, because nothing really became of it. Never before have we been juked like we were by Mark Henry. He came out in a pink suit, cried his eyes out about his imminent retirement, before nailing John Cena with the World’s Strongest Slam and exclaiming that he’s still got a lot left in the tank. If you haven’t seen it, do it now. I was crying, I’m not going to lie. I thought the legend of Mark Henry was over. But that swerve was fantastic. Big Show winning last year didn’t come close to this emotional scene. If you were the ask Mark Henry about it, he’d probably just say “that’s what I do!”
And the Slammy goes to: Mark Henry
Match of the Year (presenter: Bret Hart)
Nominees:
-Undertaker vs. CM Punk (WrestleMania 29)
-John Cena vs. The Rock (WrestleMania 29)
-Cody Rhodes & Goldust vs. Seth Rollins & Roman Reigns (Battleground)
-Triple H vs. Brock Lesnar (Extreme Rules)
I can’t for the life of me understand how Brock Lesnar and CM Punk’s amazing contest from SummerSlam wasn’t nominated. In my opinion, that was by far the best match this year. The story, build-up, brutality and overall entertainment factor was out of this world. John Cena’s match with The Rock doesn’t even come close to that. Undertaker/Punk and Triple H/Lesnar are both understandable, and Cody Rhodes and Goldust’s Championship win over The Shield is a surprise, but it makes a lot of sense. It was an awesome match, and the whole story behind it was so beautiful and emotional. But none of these nominees out-did last year’s winner. That epic Hell in a Cell Match between Triple H and The Undertaker was absolutely fantastic. It was a tear-jerking, heart-warming, electrifying match, which I actually ranked as my favourite Hell in a Cell of all time a couple of months ago. Three larger-than-life athletes like Shawn Michaels, Triple H and The Undertaker stood in the ring together at Wrestlemania for presumably the very last time, and that hug they shared after the match summarised the respect and awe-inspiring careers that these men had accumulated over the last few decades. It had absolutely everything, including the voice of Jim Ross on commentary.
The Undertaker’s matches at Wrestlemania are much more than just a ‘Streak’. They have transitioned into a yearly testament to the legend that is ‘The Undertaker’, and this year was no different. He defeated CM Punk in a phenomenal contest, subsequently winning back the urn and honouring the late, great Paul Bearer’s memory. It was a fantastic moment and served as a great tribute to a fallen hero, who will undoubtedly be inducted into the WWE Hall of Fame soon enough.
And the Slammy goes to: The Undertaker vs. CM Punk at Wrestlemania XXIX.
Superstar of the Year (presenter: Shawn Michaels)
Nominees:
-John Cena
-Randy Orton
-CM Punk
-Daniel Bryan
-Big Show
-Brock Lesnar
Similarly to ‘Breakout Star of the Year’, there is but one man who can take home the Slammy for Best Superstar. Daniel Bryan has had such a fantastic year, and the fact that he’s not only the best wrestler in the world, but the most over guy in the WWE Locker Room shows that. His rise to the top was not given to him by the fans, John Cena or even Vince McMahon, he earned it himself through hard work and determination. There is nobody better on that roster than Daniel Bryan. CM Punk is my favourite wrestler, but his year wasn’t too fantastic. Sure he lost to two legends like The Rock and The Undertaker, but then he went on hiatus and when he came back it was all great until after SummerSlam, when he was stuck in the Limbo of a feud with Paul Heyman, Curtis Axel and eventually Ryback. It certainly was not his best year. Randy Orton had a less-than-stellar year up until SummerSlam, so surely he can’t be eligible to win. John Cena won the Royal Rumble and he beat The Rock at Wrestlemania, but his feud with Ryback sucked, he lost to Daniel Bryan and got injured, and sure, he may be close to becoming the Unified Champion, but what does it really prove? It pays to be the poster boy? You’re damn right it does, considering he had the worst year of his career in 2012 and still managed to win ‘Superstar of the Year’. Then to make matters even worse, the jackass gave it to Ric Flair… Big Show is a laughable nominee and Brock Lesnar was barely around, so what’s that about? This is 100% Daniel Bryan’s Slammy. And after Hell in a Cell and what happened the night after, it will be interesting when Shawn Michaels presents the award… Future match confirmation, anybody?
And the Slammy goes to: Daniel Bryan
That’s that. I am quite excited about the Slammys, because there are legends and I can’t say no to a good awards ceremony, so it should be good. If you enjoyed reading this article, go ahead and like it on Facebook, Tweet and Retweet the link and leave your comments down below! If you want to speak to me about wrestling, my writing, future ‘Under the Spotlight’ topics or anything at all, be sure to follow me on Twitter @AdamOB_SLTD.
Check back next Sunday to read the 25th edition of ‘Under the Spotlight’! Thanks for reading!
Self-Professed Conversational Wizard.
Admin, Editor and Writer for SLTD Wrestling.
Creator of 'Under the Spotlight'.
Studying Computing in Games Development.
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