Do you know what my favourite thing about the Superbowl is? Of course you don’t, but don’t worry because that’s a rhetorical question. My favourite thing about the Superbowl is that they only take three weeks to build up to it. I’m so thankful the NFL decided that all those extra weeks leading up to the Superbowl were a waste of time.
It took them a while, but I’m sure you’ll all agree that the NFL made the right decision to do away with the season and the playoffs. The new system is much better. They just pick two teams, who peaked years ago in terms of popularity and ability, and then throw them together with a three week build to the Superbowl.
Wait a minute…what do you mean they DON’T do that? Yeah they do. Really? What about the Champions League or the US Open tennis? Really? So you’re telling me that all major sporting finals are built up after weeks or months of twists, turns, wins, losses and drama until only two teams or individuals remain and THEN they battle it out to crown the champion?
That can’t be right, can it? All that’s going to do is build up interest and emotional investment in the final and make the winner an even bigger success story, with a hard fought and well-earned achievement at the end of it that will be remembered by their fans forever. Who the hell wants THAT?
Ah, isn’t sarcasm a wonderful thing? That’s not me being sarcastic by the way. I know it’s hard to tell sometimes but I’m being serious. I love sarcasm. It’s the only way I can express my feelings towards this ‘once in a lifetime,’ ‘this isn’t something we just threw together at the last minute’ ‘yes, we’ve devalued our Titles for years but NOW they’re really important,’ Title unification match between WWE Champion Randy Orton and World Heavyweight Champion John Cena at the TLC PPV this Sunday.
What should and could have been one of the biggest matches of the year in WWE, instead feels like another rushed decision by WWE, fuelled by the poor PPV buy rate of Summerslam and other recent PPVs that were so bad I can’t even be arsed to go back and find their names. I think one was called Robot Wars or maybe Battlefield 4.
Don’t get me wrong; I’m not against unifying the Titles. The World Heavyweight Title has been such a bitch belt for so long it’s now worth less than the Euro. The brand split is dead and therefore there’s no need for two Champions. It’s not the concept that’s got me spouting sarcastic dismissals all over the internet, it’s the execution. Well, that and the fact I like shitting over everything WWE does because it makes me feel like a big man.
One of my favourite things about WWE is how they take full advantage of the old Churchill adage, “history is written by the victors.” They’ve dialled back their previous need to re-write history, which got to the point that – according to them – wrestling didn’t exist before Vince McMahon invented it in 1984. But they’re still taking a lot of liberties with history and the truth, especially when it comes to the World Heavyweight Title.
Let’s all agree on one thing – the World Heavyweight Title in WWE is not the linear Title from the ‘original world title’ held by such wrestling legends as George Hackenschmidt and Ed ‘Strangler’ Lewis.
It’s also not the linear Title from the NWA World Title held by the likes of Dusty Rhodes and Ric Flair in the 80s. The Title belt Cena currently holds is only linked to that Title because it’s the same design as the old WCW World Title. Which itself wasn’t the NWA World Title because WCW split from the NWA and had to replace that Title with their ‘big gold belt.’
The original NWA World Title (the square one with the flags on it) that WWE are trying to claim their big gold belt came from actually ended up as the TNA World Title. Although today it is recognised by the NWA as a separate Title because TNA didn’t want to keep the NWA part of their World Title. Keeping the initials that everyone associates with ‘tits and ass’ was more important to TNA than keeping the link to the old National Wrestling Alliance.
I know this kind of information is confusing, boring and means nothing to most fans but if you ignore history and just make shit up, what’s the point in ever referring to the past? Isn’t history supposed to be something that is treasured, respected, taught and learned from? If you’re not going to be truthful and respectful about what has come before, then all you are doing is demeaning and devaluing the past. Unless it’s about Benoit, in which case it’s fully justified because he was a child murdering piece of shit.
So all this talk of the Titles held by Cena and Orton being two of the oldest and most respect World Titles in wrestling history is bullshit. At least it is for the Title Cena holds. That Title was invented in 2002 by HHH as a way to give himself a World Title and undercut the push of Brock Lesnar, who had recently won the Undisputed (WWE and WCW) WWE Title from The Rock at Summerslam 2002 and was set to become the biggest star in the company for the foreseeable future.
WWE can pretend that just because their World Title looks like an old WCW Title belt, which replaced the NWA World Title, that it must actually be that original NWA Title, with all the legend and history that goes along with the Title, but it’s not. That’s akin to me drawing a picture of Scarlett Johansen, keeping it on the pillow next to me, and calling her my wife.
Dodgy Title history aside, there only needs to one World Title in WWE today and it should be the WWE Title. Whether or not John Cena and Randy Orton, with three weeks build up, is the right way to go about making one Title to rule them all is debatable.
John Cena vs. Randy Orton is one of the most stale rivalries in WWE. There’s no denying they’re the top two stars in WWE, at least in the eyes of the company. The fans see a certain bearded Yes man and a tattooed, straight edge rebel as the top dogs. Not that who the fans see as the best in the company matters. As far as WWE is concerned, we’re idiots and we should like who they tell us to like.
Cena and Orton had a storied rivalry that ran from around 2007 to 2009 and during that time they faced off in no less than 327,435 WWE PPV main events. I had to send the figures to NASA to calculate and they’ve come back and confirmed that for every 5 minutes of WWE programming you watched between 2007 and 2009, 4.29 minutes were taken up by Randy Orton and John Cena either wrestling, or exchanging poorly scripted barbs in promos.
That’s not to say their feud was bad. It was actually really good and helped establish both guys as the company’s top dogs. But the feud ran its course and it should have been left alone for at least another 3 or 4 years. The groaning reaction from the live crowds when this match was first announced should have told WWE all they needed to know – this feud is happening again far too soon and people don’t want to see it.
They certainly don’t want to see it with three weeks build-up, on a B-level PPV, right before the really interesting part of WWE’s year (the road to Wrestlemania) begins. Everything about this match feels wrong; the wrong participants, the wrong show, the wrong kind of build-up and no doubt an outcome that most of the IWC will find wrong – John Cena winning.
A lot of the fan apathy towards what should be a money making match of epic importance is not down to the usual IWC well versed cynicism. It’s all WWE’s own making. If there’s one thing WWE have conditioned its fans to believe, it’s that wins, losses and match stipulations mean nothing.
It’s been a slow erosion of faith over a number of years that has really picked up steam in the second half of this year. Since Summerslam, WWE fans have seen shitty PPV, after shitty PPV, which some of them have paid $50 each time to watch, with non-finishes to WWE Title matches, screw jobs and other ‘best for business’ angles. Those poorly thought out finishes have left a large portion of the WWE audience now unable to believe anything WWE tells them and unwilling to pay to find out if this time WWE will actually deliver on their promise.
This match was announced and immediately the overwhelming opinion of fans was TLC would end in a screw job of some kind. Why would they do what they said they would? They’ve said things for the past 10 years and never delivered on them. In the last six months that kind of non-finish, screwy, holy-shit-we’ve-booked-ourselves-into-a-corner PPV main event finish has become the norm.
Fans have been conditioned to know that nothing matters, promises are not kept, nothing is followed up on and stipulations are never enforced. Even when they expressly say, “this is what we’re going to do at the PPV, honest” they have insulted their fans intelligence so often in recent years that everything they say is taken with a pinch of salt so big it would season a bag of chips the size of Wembley stadium.
The apathy isn’t helped by the fact that both Titles have been devalued by poor booking and a lack of focus on making the Titles mean something. Since Summerslam, WWE have been on a mission to make the WWE Title as worthless as possible, at least that’s how it’s seemed from the outside looking in. They’ve had it won, lost, held in abeyance, forgotten about, ignored and eventually handed to Randy Orton, who has been one of the least visible or interesting WWE Champions in years. Why? Because everything he does is overshadowed by the real top heel in WWE, HHH.
I’m not even wasting a paragraph or a joke on the World Heavyweight Title. That Title has been devalued, buried and was being read its last rights before they made the decision to rebuild it (and no doubt quickly get rid of it) by making John Cena Champion. The problem has been, even though Cena is still the top star in WWE, he hasn’t been able to rise above the giant gold brick around his waist. The World Title means so little that even someone like John Cena can’t make it worthwhile.
Then again he’s only had one feud since coming back, which he won handily and took the Title. Since then he’s spent most of his time on WWE TV either begging people to care that he’s World Heavyweight Champion, or acting like a chronic suffer of OCD on Total Divas.
If you think about it, what WWE is really presenting at TLC is not the battle for the greatest World Title in the history of wrestling. They’re actually presenting a match between two wrestlers that the vast majority of people don’t want to see, over two worthless Titles, with a three week build up.
With the right competitors, the right build up and two Titles that have been built up and protected, this unification match could be a money making Wrestlemania main event. It should be a Wrestlemania main event. It should be the WWE’s own Superbowl – the two top Champions in the company, facing off in a historic match to crown one undisputed champion. There should have been months of build-up to this match. There should have been months of building up both Titles. There should have been so much more than what we’ve been given.
Then again, I shouldn’t look at it that deeply, should I? I should just pretend that what WWE is feeding us is actually true. I should just fake my excitement for this match because that’s what I’m supposed to do. I mean, it’s only wrestling after all. Who really cares? Sadly, I do and I know a lot of other people who care too.
There is a potential plus point from this match. If you’re a long time wrestling fan, you’ll remember the days when the Intercontinental Title was the second most prized Title in WWE. It was the workers Title. It was the Title awarded to the guys that the company were positioning as the next top guys. An IC Title reign could be seen as a trial-run with a respected Title to see how someone carried the Title and themselves as Champion. It was both a stepping stone to the top level and also an acknowledgement that you were one of the best workers in the company.
With one pointless World Title being scrapped after TLC (allegedly) the importance of the IC Title increases tenfold. Now it really does become the second most important Title in the company. Now it goes back to being an important tool to help build new stars. While it’s been ignored and devalued for years, with boring Title run after boring Title run and Champions whose sole purpose seemed to be to put over guys higher on the card than themselves , after TLC that could all change.
That change would be a massive benefit to not just the IC Champion but also all those guys in the mid-card that have no current direction. It’d be nice to hear about wrestlers who actually want to challenge for the IC Title – something we never hear on WWE TV. It would be nice if WWE built a few rivalries around the IC Title. It would be nothing but a positive if the IC Title was treated with respect and protected to actually mean something again in WWE.
Unfortunately, my lack of faith overrides my blind optimism. I don’t expect anything to change with the IC Title after TLC. Nothing ever changes in WWE. Here we are four years after the natural conclusion to the Cena vs. Orton feud and what match has WWE chosen as their rushed Superbowl? None other than Cena vs. Orton. That tells you everything you need to know about the speed of progress in WWE during the last four years. They always play it safe. They always go with what they know and nothing ever changes.
Nothing in life can survive if it doesn’t evolve. The same is true of sports and other forms of entertainment. If the Superbowl was contested by the same teams every year, people would get very bored, very quickly. If a TV show like Homeland or Breaking Bad just told the same story each week, with no progression of character or storyline, people would get very bored, very quickly. When it comes to WWE, none of that seems to matter. Hence Cena vs. Orton part 12,000.
I know I’m pissing all over this parade but can you blame me? Did you jump out your seat with excitement when this match was announced? Did you fist pump the air in celebration? Did you immediately jump on Twitter to tell the world how AWESOME this match and Title unification was going to be? If you did, congratulations, you’re a better person than I. All I could do was shrug, shake my head and jump on Twitter to ask, “Um…where’s the fucking build up to this historic match?”
And that’s the biggest problem with all of this. WWE continually ignore one of the fundamental elements of drawing money in wrestling – the money is in the build, not the match. It doesn’t matter how good a match is, if the build-up is lacklustre or rushed and doesn’t convince people to pay to see the match, the match might as well not happen.
Every great feud and money making event in wrestling history came about because of the build TO the match, not the match itself. You’ve already been convinced to pay for the match by the build-up. The match is simply the final part of the story, the end game.
Even the red-hot and very entertaining final angle on RAW this week hasn’t got me excited for Cena vs. Orton. It’s got me excited for HHH vs. Randy Orton and John Cena vs. Daniel Bryan. Maybe that was the point? All I know is the ‘biggest match in WWE history’ is taking place on Sunday and so far, no fucks have been given.
I expect it to be a great match but it feels like a real moment has been squandered with this match because WWE appear to have thrown it together at the last minute. Maybe you like your Superbowl with a three week build up, me? I want the whole season and every tiny piece of drama, controversy, hype and excitement that goes along with it.
That’s my take on TLC and the big Title Unification match between Cena and Orton. What do you think about the match and the build-up? If you want to share your thoughts, you can leave a comment here. Or you can always follow me on Twitter which is @MFXDuckman.
It would be remiss of me if I didn’t give a quick plug to the podcast myself and my partner-in-crime Sir Ian Trumps produce every week. It’s called Marks for Xcellence. It’s a kind of variety show meets wrestling discussion. There’s a massive focus on making you guys laugh and having a good time.
The show is very NSFW and isn’t really in the, “and then Cena did a suplex and I liked it” vein of other podcasts. This is anarchy on the airwaves, covered up to sound like we know what we’re doing. So if that sounds like something you’d be interested in, head over to www.mfxpodcast.com and check out the shows. Our IMPACT specific show goes up early in the week, with the RAW show following on later.
As always, thanks for reading and be sure to keep supporting SLTD and all the great contributors that make this place so great.
Until next time…
Peace
Duckman
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