It’s been a couple of weeks since my last collection of half-baked thoughts and ill-informed opinions were arranged in a semi-interesting article here on SLTD. I’ve just been really busy. Trying to find enough time in the day to get my smark on for SLTD has proved difficult. Thankfully I’ve been able to find a space in my hectic playboy lifestyle and like a fat, old, wrestling fan version of Justin Timberlake, I’m bringing smarky back. Alright, don’t all cheer at once.
While I’ve been off the SLTD grid, we’ve had two of the most newsworthy weeks of the year in the world of professional wrestling. We’ve had the very worrying news about Daniel Bryan’s neck injury and subsequent surgery. Then the more humorous news that Vince McMahon lost $350 million of his personal worth in ONE DAY thanks to the below expectations announcement of WWE’s new TV rights deal and the resulting stock price crash.
Of course, no news is more important or bigger than the debut in TNA of THE MENAGERIE!!!! No prizes for spotting the sarcasm there, and a slap in the chops if you didn’t.
I can’t be the only one who has been struck by the irony of the storyline that The Menagerie are in TNA to make money to fund a financially struggling circus. TNA have got to be laughing at themselves with that one, don’t they?
If the zany antics of The Menagerie so far on IMPACT are any indication, then it’s going to be a long, boring and awkward summer of crazy clowns, dudes on stilts, confused fans watching on in silence and Knux trying not to cry on camera each time he remembers that out of everyone who was chewed up and spat out by the Aces and Eights angle, he somehow wasn’t cut and given the chance to hit New Japan with Doc and make some real money. Behind the laughter and the balloons is a man dying on the inside, just remember that.
I’m not going to spend too much time ripping on TNA this week. I know some people who read and write here do enjoy what TNA put on TV every week. Despite my own personal dislike of what they do, I respect the fact that some people like it and they don’t want to come here and read another article making fun of TNA. There’s plenty of them all over the internet as it is.
Anyway, between Eric Young’s promotion to World Champion (you can come up with all the excuses you want, he’s only there because of Daniel Bryan’s popularity in WWE), Willow (just in general), the logic defying and all too swift heel turn of MVP and his formation of Blackolution (cocky young upstart, wheezing muscle head, ego driven bad guy who wants more power and the World Title), to every show long skit they do (Anderson/Shaw, Dixie/Bully etc) being lamer than a three legged dog, TNA are doing a fine job of carving out their own brand of ‘what the hell is going on’ wrestling programming. I don’t need to add my smart arse comments, even though I just did.
Despite being really busy, I still managed to have some fun over the last fortnight. Last week my brother and I went to WWE’s house show in the newly opened Hydro Arena in Glasgow. The Hydro is a brilliant arena, perfect for a wrestling show and with it being nice and new, there’s load of facilities, free Wi-Fi and plenty of places to get food, drinks and merch.
This was the first night of WWE’s two week European tour and with a sell-out crowd of 9,500 on a Wednesday night in Glasgow, there’s no doubt WWE are still a big live draw in the UK.
Despite being a fan for over 25 years, I’ve only been able to experience a WWE live event twice and the Glasgow show was the second. I know, I suck. The first show I attended was a UK only (I think) PPV called Rebellion back in 2001 at the Manchester Evening News Arena.
While I originally had an idea about writing about WWE’s stock price plunge or Bryan’s injury, I thought it might be interesting (it probably won’t be) to contrast and compare my WWE live experience back in 2001 to my experience last week.
A few notes before we get going:
It’s not fair to compare the shows in terms of match quality. One was a PPV and the other was a house show. You wouldn’t expect the same quality of matches on a house show that you get at a PPV.
Also, the Glasgow show was hurt by a few factors beyond WWE’s control, including CM Punk vanishing off the face of the earth, only to emerge for rare sightings at UFC events, baseball or hockey games and Daniel Bryan’s neck injury – which forced him off the show.
Rebellion was the first WWE show I’d been to, so it’s got a special place in my heart. I travelled all the way from Scotland to Manchester for it, it was during the height of the Attitude Era, with the Invasion angle due to come to a conclusion a month later, and I was a sprightly and wide eyed 20 year old mark, as opposed to the broken down and jaded 33 year old asshole I am today.
Once you take those factors into account, you can understand how comparing the show quality would be difficult. However comparing the show experience can still be done…I hope.
The differing levels of expectation I had for these shows were amazing. In 2001 I was expecting a show that would literally change my life. I remember we were so excited about the trip that on the train on the way down, when we cracked open our first beer, we chanted ‘ECW’ because how else do idiots express their joy? That would be a theme of the weekend and one that cracks me up and makes me cringe in equal measure.
Last week, I was expecting a show that would have a couple of fun matches but would mostly involve me being annoyed and complaining about anything that didn’t involve The Shield or Bad News Barrett. Thankfully I left that attitude, my silly expectations and smarkish bullshit at the bar and tried to enjoy the show for what it is – a fun filled night of wholesome family entertainment.
Now it’s worth keeping in mind that WWE’s roster in 2001 was much stronger than it is today. That’s just a fact. Check out the line-up for the Rebellion show in Manchester in 2001:
Edge vs. Christian – IC Title Match in a Steel Cage.
Scotty Too Hotty vs. Hurricane Helms.
Big Show vs. DDP.
The Dudleys vs. APA vs. The Hardys – WCW Tag Title Match.
William Regal vs. Tajiri.
Chris Jericho vs. Kurt Angle – WCW World Title Match.
Torrie Wilson and Lita vs. Molly Holly and Stacy Kiebler – Trish Stratus as Special Guest Ref.
The Rock vs. Stone Cold Steve Austin – WWE Title Match.
Pretty frigging sweet, right? Amazingly, I have a clear recollection of some dudes complaining that the show would suck because The Undertaker wasn’t on it. Some smarks are never happy.
Now compare that line up to the Glasgow show line up: (again, this is a house show so it’s not a fair comparison but just to give you a flavour of how few stars WWE have in 2014, compared to in 2001).
Dean Ambrose and Seth Rollins vs. Ryback and Curtis Axel.
Bad News Barrett vs. RVD vs. Big E vs. Jack Swagger – IC Title Match.
Mark Hendy vs. Fandango – dance contest.
Rusev vs. Sin Cara.
Big Show (subbing for Bryan) vs. Kane – Last Man Standing Match.
Adrian Neville vs. Bo Dallas – NXT Title Match.
Paige & The Funkadactyls vs. Layla & Tamina Snuka & Rosa Mendes
Roman Reigns vs. Randy Orton – Steel Cage Match.
Even with a weaker roster, WWE still believe they can run two separate house show circuits at the same time. One show is headlined by Bryan and The Shield and the other has John Cena and The Wyatts in the top spots. An injury to either of those top four acts and each show looks very lacking in depth, which is exactly what happened when Bryan got injured.
There are a number of reasons for the lack of stars these day, most of which are WWE’s own doing. Their infamous stop/start push policy, which has undermined more potential stars than I can be arsed to type out, hasn’t helped. They also fell into a trap of propping up major shows with part timers from the past, which helped a one off buy rate, but doesn’t do anything for the company once the part timers leave again.
They’re slowly getting their shit together with NXT and recruiting the best indy talent out there, but since the class of Lesnar, Cena, Orton and Batista, the production line of WWE stars stalled and they took too long to get it going again. It’s only felt years down the line when the lack of action in talent development really starts to bite.
It’s safe to say that if you were comparing the shows simply on the depth of roster and quality of the matches, Rebellion 2001 blows the Glasgow show out of the water. Surprisingly though, I had just as much fun at the show last week as I did back in 2001.
With the benefit of hindsight it’s easy to say that 2001 was a creative high point for WWE. They haven’t consistently come close to matching the level of heat, interest and excitement in their product since the end of the Invasion angle.
I remember back in 2001 being absolutely hooked on WWE’s programming. It was all can’t miss TV. Even though I hated Austin’s heel turn and felt they’d squandered so much potential with the Invasion angle, WWE was still hitting the high notes creatively and in the ring they had some of the best workers of all time at their disposal.
In 2014 it’s a different story. I watch WWE out of force of habit, rather than a deeply felt and keen interest in what’s going on. I still enjoy some of WWE’s product but I can’t say I have the same fascination and passion in what goes on as I did in 2001. It’s improved in recent years with the emergence of talents like Punk, Bryan, Cesaro, The Shield, The Wyatts and others but there’s no doubt the 2004-2010 years seriously dented my interest in WWE.
In the 13 years or so that have passed since the Rebellion show in 2001, WWE’s product has moved away from the Attitude Era – it had to, it would never have survived in today’s ultra conservative culture of mass collective offense, driven by social and regular media – and into the much derided (by smarks like me) PG era.
The main difference I saw between 2001 and 2014 was the number of kids and families that were at the show in Glasgow. The PG era is in full effect. Don’t get me wrong, Manchester had a lot of kids and families in the crowd, but they were not the majority of the people who made up a WWE crowd in 2001.
In 2001 I went to the show with my brother and two other lads in their late teens. When we got to the show the crowd dynamic was mostly groups of young men, around 15-25 years old, who were there to drink beer, go mental, shout as loudly as they could and have a good time.
In 2014 the crowd dynamic has shifted. There are still the groups of lads, on the beers, shouting loudly and having a good time, but there aren’t as many of them. They stand out a lot more in 2014 than they would have done in 2001. They’re like guys who thought they were going to a rock concert but instead ended up at a Tellytubbies live show. They still mosh and head bang, but everyone looks at them disapprovingly and tutts at their behaviour.
There were groups of older people (late 20s to late 30s) who were much quieter and more smarky in their attitude towards the show. They appeared to be having a good time at first, but got less interested as the show went on. I got the feeling they were the guys who would have had a great time in 2001, but now they’re older and less energetic, they don’t have the same fun time as they did when they were younger. It probably doesn’t help that WWE has got progressively less cool as they’ve got older.
Apart from them, it was just a sea of kids and their parents. They were easy to spot because with them all wearing John Cena merchandise, looking down on the floor from our seats in the second tier, it was like a three foot high tide of neon green, flowing around on the arena floor and shrieking loudly. Plus the merch stands did an absolute roaring trade and nearly every kid I saw had a John Cena t-shirt on, a new one in a bag and was following around a rather exasperated looking parent or parents who had just realised how damn expensive this night out was proving to be.
The Glasgow show proved to me, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that John Cena will never be turned heel by WWE. The amount of merchandise that man shifts is unbelievable and as long as he keeps doing that kind of business, WWE would be completely idiotic to turn him and lose all that cash. It doesn’t matter if people my age boo him. It doesn’t matter if you think he’s stale or boring or that he ‘buries’ his opponents. As long as he’s a hero to those kids – and he truly is – they’ll never turn him.
As far as my own personal experience goes? Well it cost more to go to Manchester in 2001. So that’s a plus point to Glasgow! The matches in Manchester were better (although the opener in Glasgow and the main event were really good) and the atmosphere was different because it was a more teenage-centric audience, who were really into the product (which was still really hot at the time). Plus the main event was THE ROCK vs. STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN. Come on.
I’m pretty sure the 20 year old me would have hated the Glasgow show. Just like I’m sure a lot of the 20 year olds who were there did. Then again the WWE product isn’t geared to them anymore, or to me. It’s about those tens of thousands of children, spending all their parent’s money on merch and having fun at what is basically the most highly produced and bad ass pantomime they’ll ever go to.
If you can accept WWE for what it is these days and not constantly hark back to the ‘good old days’ when the product was directed at you, I think you’ll have a much better time. I know my brother and I both made a pledge to just enjoy the show for what it was and be thankful that we got the chance to have some beers, watch some live WWE and have a great laugh doing so. We had a blast at the show and we definitely won’t be waiting another decade to go back to a live WWE show.
The night at WWE in Glasgow was summed up for me perfectly by one moment. We were stood in the line for a taxi. All around us were parents dragging their overly hyper and hopped up on sugar kids towards the car parks to try and get them home as quickly as possible. It was a school night after all. Anyway, we’re standing there chatting in a smarky fashion but actually buzzing from enjoying the show, but trying not to show it too much.
This little kid walks past with his parents (they’re in their early 30s and look stressed and tired, he’s probably 5 and is hyped up beyond belief), he’s got a John Cena t-shirt on, wrist bands, Sin Cara mask and is carrying a bag with no doubt more Cena merch inside. As they walk past us he looks up to his Dad and in the most genuine voice I’ve ever heard says,
“Dad, I pure loved it in there tonight. I pure loved it! That is the best thing that’s ever happened to me in my whole life.”
Of course his Dad just replied with,
“Did you like it son, that’s good. Now come on, we’ve got try and find the car and get out of here before midnight.”
That little kid skipped away, buzzing from the best night of his five years on this planet. He probably went to school the next day and told all his little buddies about how amazing The Shield were, how funny it was when Mark Henry did the splits and how Ryback took an hour to tie the cage door shut and everyone laughed at him. It didn’t matter that Punk or Bryan or Cena weren’t there. The kid was just having the time of his life and he’ll remember it forever. Just the same way I’ll always remember that trip to Manchester in 2001.
Something about that whole scene just warmed my bitter old heart and reminded me what WWE is these days and who it’s really for. It’s taken me a decade to finally work it out, but I think it’s helped me find some much needed perspective when it comes to WWE and what they do. Maybe if we all did that a little more often, we’d enjoy the shows that little bit more?
Who am I kidding? We’re smarks and we’re staying that way. Just keep in mind next time your ranting and raving about someone’s work rate or lack of push, WWE know exactly what they’re doing and who they’re catering for and those people, those millions of kids who buy all that merch, and who don’t give a righteous fuck what you think, they’re having the time of their lives.
So there you go, two weeks away but still the same old rubbish you’ve come to know and tolerate from me. Remember, if you want to shoot the shit about wrestling, or anything else really, you can follow me on Twitter which is @MFXDuckman
You can also get an audio Duckman experience twice a week on the MFX Podcast. Join me and my partner-in-crime Sir Ian Trumps as we traverse the week in WWE and TNA, as well as life in general.
We’ve changed the format of MFX recently. We now have a new show called Unleashed, which goes up at the beginning of the week and covers pop culture, sport, movies and music – basically everything you can think of apart from professional wrestling.
Then at the end of the week we bring you our wrestling only show with reviews of IMPACT, RAW which are loaded with impressions, tons of NSFW jokes and some occasional insight. Honest.
Check the show out on the MFX page here, or by heading to www.mfxpodcast.com – you can also subscribe to the show on ITunes or Stitcher. Just search: Marks for Xcellence Wrestling Podcast.
As always, thanks for reading and please continue to support the great writers and staff here at SLTD.
Until next time…
Peace
Duckman
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