You’re not seeing things. Yes, I’m writing. And yes, these are my thoughts on WWE SummerSlam 2014.
First off, let me just say I’m not here to steal my brother from an Irish mother @GameOverGary’s spot. Gary’s just had things to deal with this week, so I thought I’d try to step in to his massive shoes. While I may not have his GIF-getting ability, or witty repartee, I hope that, at least, you’ll find this brief review of SummerSlam an enjoyable way to spend a few minutes.
Regular listeners to SLTD Radio, and readers of my columns wherever they’re posted on the interweb, will know that for most of the last year, I’ve fallen out of love with mainstream wrestling. A bit like Shawn Michaels circa-1997, I’ve lost my smile.
But…because I’m such a team player, I’ve decided to start watching PPVs, just so that Tubberius (aka @Greg_SLTD, leader of the #GregoryMovement) and L-I-L…P-I-P…D-J-A-N-O (that’s Adam to the norms) aren’t on their own keeping up to date with what’s happening. What a guy I am huh?!?!
Before I get started, you should probably know that this review (if you can call it that) won’t be your typical “he suplexed him, then he ran the ropes, then he clotheslined him” type of review. There are plenty of those that you can find elsewhere. What I will do is go through some of my thoughts as the matches happened, as well as a quick note or two on what we might see – if anything – moving forward.
So, here’s some SummerSlam stats for ya. There were 8 matches on the main PPV, with each getting a decent amount of time, and the crowd was pretty hot throughout the show. In fairness, the crowds in LA are always good.
Here we go… it’s SummerSlam time bay-bay!
The show opened with a Hogan promo, with what appears to be our standard, obligatory shoehorning of a WWE Network plug into every segment. Did you know it’s only $9.99? Nope. Me either!
Match 1: Intercontinental Championship Match – The Miz (c) vs Dolph Ziggler
I’m not entirely sure why our friends in Germany need four different commentators, but that’s a question for another time.
As far as the match? The crowd were into everything Ziggler did, and all over Miz. It was pretty standard mid-card WWE fayre for the most part, but things really picked up towards the finish. There was a great sequence where Ziggler delivered the Fame-Asser, only for Miz to pop back up and hit the Skull Crushing Finale for a REALLY close 2-count. I’d never seen that before. It was cool. Ziggler finished things off by hitting the Zig-Zag to get the pin and become the NEW Intercontinental Champion.
Thoughts: The result was a bit of a surprise if I’m honest. I think Ziggler and Miz are above this, but I picked the Miz to win this one. That finishing sequence was tremendous and something you should seek out. Oh, and Cole was all over Miz on comms. I thought he was a Miz guy? Moving forward, these guys aren’t doing anything anyway, so just let them go at it and build to another match. It wouldn’t hurt either guy.
There was a brutal, and I mean BRUTAL, backstage interview with Brie Bella to hype her match with Steph later. Christ she sucks. The only saving grace was when she called Steph a she-beast.
Match 2: Divas Championship – Paige vs AJ Lee (c)
This was a really physical match with Paige most definitely the aggressor. She was on top for most of it and, in another surprising result, she countered the Black Widow into her sick-looking Rampaige DDT to become the NEW Divas Champion.
Thoughts: Two matches, two title changes and, to be honest, two slightly surprising outcomes. Paige is SO much better in this role than as the typical WWE babyface Diva. Make no mistake about it, Paige is here to stay. I’d still like to see her bring the anti-Diva stuff that worked so well for her in NXT to the main roster. Maybe we’ll see that in the coming weeks…
Match 3: Flag Match – Rusev (w/Lana) vs Swagger (w/Zeb Colter)
All in all, we got a fun, old-school type of match that wouldn’t have looked out of place in the late 80s/early 90s. Typical ‘Murica stuff. USA good, foreign bad. Xenophobic? Yes. But it works.
These two huge guys took it to a whole ‘nother level, with each trying to get the better of the other before the bell even rung. I predicted Rusev to win before the event, so it was no surprise to see him win thanks to making the Swagman pass out. His push continues, and even in defeat, Swagger’s still the most over he’s ever been. Good for him.
Thoughts: Like I said, it was fun and completely harmless. The Rusev thing is clearly working cos both he and Lana are drawing a lot of heat. There’s probably not a whole lot of mileage left in this, but WWE will take it for all it’s worth.
Match 4: Lumberjack Match – Seth Rollins vs Dean Ambrose
Here’s what I wrote when I watched this:
“Ambrose just keeps wiping c***s out left, right and centre. They fight all over the arena and show why they’ll be main-eventing WrestleMania in five years. Great stuff, even if Rollins won thanks to an assist from Kane.”
Sums it up perfectly:
Thoughts: Ambrose is immense. Just IMMENSE. He’s like Roddy Piper, Brian Pillman and Jake Roberts all rolled into one. He’s crazy as fuck. And this match proved it. It wasn’t just the Ambrose show though. Rollins played his part to perfection and shone just as much as Ambrose did. For me, this was the match of the night and there’s SO much more they can do. Just let them fight!
Match 5: Bray Wyatt vs Chris Jericho
In a word, this was majestic. Pro-wrestling at its finest. I LOVED Wyatt/Jericho. Last month wasn’t great, but this more than made up for it. BREAKING NEWS…THIS JUST IN…wrestlers who use psychology in great match shocker! This had everything I love about wrestling – the contest, the story, the feel, just everything. Wyatt’s had some cracking matches this year and his roll continued here.
Thoughts: How this goes from here depends on what’s happening with Chris Jericho. If he sticks around, maybe they’ll get another month out of it. If he’s not, WWE are in a difficult position. They’ve got no other babyfaces that the crowd care about for Wyatt to feud with. I’m glad it’s not my job to work that out.
Match 6: Stephanie McMahon vs Brie Bella
Judging by her ring attire, Stephanie’s gradual metamorphosis into some form of weird Nicole Bass/Chyna hybrid is almost complete. She’s got that square jaw, the leather outfits. I’m tellin’ ya, all she needs now is to release some form of weird sex tape with X-Pac, and she’s there.
Match of the Year, this was not. It was OK for what it was, but don’t go out of your way to see it. It ended in predictable fashion. Nikki Bella double-crossed her sister, paving the way for Stephmanie to win.
Thoughts: At least we know where this is going. A Brie/Nikki feud. Yay! Just what we always wanted. Right??? Right??? Riiiggghhhttt…
Match 7: Randy Orton vs Roman Reigns
Poor Randy Orton. Forever consigned to the history books as HHH’s bitch. It’s a shame, because he deserves more than that. In terms of his latest match with a young guy, surprise surprise, Orton put him over. Just like he always does. If only there was another 10+ year veteran who put over young guys too, instead of just burying them, who knows where WWE would be right now? I digress…
This was what Orton matches always are. Solid. Reliable. Nothing flashy. Just well-constructed, good pro-wrestling. He’s not had a stand-out match since that hardcore one against Mick Foley almost a decade ago, but you can’t say his matches are bad. They’re just…OK.
Things really picked up towards the end with some great counters and Reigns picked up the win with a Spear.
Thoughts: I don’t know if I’m excited – or even care – enough to want to see a re-match between them. There’s nothing that’s gonna stop Reigns’ push, short of him killing someone, so get ready for him to be the next main-event mainstay. He’s fresh and has the heritage. The sky’s the limit for him.
Match 8: WWE World Heavyweight Championship Match – Brock Lesnar (w/Paul Heyman) vs John Cena
I can’t remember the last time I thoroughly enjoyed watching someone getting the ever-living shit kicked out of him. So imagine how much I enjoyed this. This wasn’t a match. It was a fight. It was the most one-sided fight you’re ever likely to see. And no…John Cena DIDN’T win it! Praise Jeebus!
It was booked perfectly. It would’ve made NO sense for Lesnar to have had a COMPETITIVE match with Cena. Think about it. He’s already lost to Cena since he came back in 2012. We all know Lesnar’s human now. Until this time last year, there was little, if any, mystique left with him.
BUT…with the way they’ve booked him since, especially in this match, they may, just may, have repaired the damage they did earlier in his run.
Cena got his obligatory five moves of doom in, but that was about it. There was nothing else from him. Lesnar suplexed the hell out of him and won with an F5. DECISIVELY.
Thoughts: Cena’s fans are probably still crying that he lost. And that’s their prerogative. But for everyone who’s sick of what Cena represents – a cartoonish WWE – then they got to live vicariously through Brock Lesnar. Lesnar did everything to Cena that people who dislike him wish they could. And they should enjoy it, because we’re never likely to see any main-event guy bitched out like that again.
I don’t normally agree with Michael Cole, but I did when he said that there has never been a more dominant performance in a WWE Championship match than Lesnar’s. Fact.
As for the future? The naysayers out there say Lesnar shouldn’t be champion cos he’s a “part-time” guy. That’s nonsense. Lesnar is the only TRUE superstar WWE have at their disposal. Instead of being negative – and again, this is unusual for me – try to be positive. Be patient.
What WWE have to do now is spend the next 6, 9, 12, 18 months building a new crop of stars, like they’re doing with the likes of Reigns, Rollins, Ambrose and Wyatt, who are capable of selling WrestleMania in 5 years’ time. Lesnar obviously isn’t the long-term answer. But short-term, Lesnar = $$$. That’s just the way it is.
Overall, I thought SummerSlam was a good PPV. Not great by any stretch of the imagination, but it was a good all-round show with plenty of surprises and fantastic performances. Let’s hope they keep it up.
If you want to find out how accurate our predictions were from the pre-SummerSlam episode of SLTD Radio, you can listen to it below:
Remember to tweet us your thoughts on SummerSlam to us @SLTDWrestling.
While I’m at it, make sure you check out our magnificently smark-tastic partners @MFXDuckman and @SirIanTrumps from the awesome @MFXPodcast.
They recently celebrated their 100th show, so if you like your wrestling served with a gratuitous side-order of sarcasm, wit and parodies, there’s no better podcast for you. Check them out at MFXPodcast.com, or listen to their most recent show at the top right-hand corner of this page.
Gary should be back here next week bringing you his unique brand of Raw Revisited.
Until then, thanks for reading.
SLTD Wrestling's resident Scottish Nightmare. Some of my content may not be suitable for younger readers or those who are easily offended!
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