Happy Thursday motherlovers. It’s time once again for the latest Gorilla Warfare. Today, we’ll be talking about a grave situation – the future of the Undertaker.
This is generally the time of year when the Deadman comes back, announces his intentions for WrestleMania and the hype starts. This year, it’s been quiet. Dead quiet. Ever since November when he announced WrestleMania wouldn’t define him, all we’ve seen of WWE’s greatest-ever character is a brief Rumble entrance. And that’s it. So why, given the fact he’s been the selling point of WWE’s Superbowl for the last decade or more?
There could be countless reasons. But there’s probably only one. Before we get to that though, we should probably discuss the giant elephant in the room.
Last year – WWE had no viable opponent for the Deadman. So they turned to (as much as I love him) a glorified stuntman in Shane McMahon, and a gimmick match – Hell in a Cell. The whole story was ludicrous. Vince wants to punish Shane for making a (relative) success outside of the company, so he handpicked the Deadman to kick Shane’s ass. And that he did. Shane, as always, took a ridiculous, life-threatening bump off the top of the cell and Taker won. Whoopee!!
The stipulation was that if Shane won, he’d stick around. If he didn’t, Shane had to leave. So Shane lost. And stuck around anyway. Rendering the whole build, match and stipulation a complete and utter waste of time. As if any of us believed Shane would disappear again! So last year was pointless.
The year before that, he went up against Bray Wyatt – a year after Wyatt was at the peak of his popularity and had been vanquished by John Cena at WM30. Taker won a quick match, and neither man gained anything from the match.
Then we come to the point where Taker probably should’ve retired – when Burrrockkk Llllllesssnarrrr shocked the world and ended the Streak at WM 30. For whatever reason, WWE decided to kill the thing that had been selling Mania for a decade. In hindsight, Lesnar has been the only credible opponent to end the Streak, other than H-B-Shizzle himself.
Without the Streak, the Deadman had nothing to prove. He’d been at the top of the game for over 20 years, consistently reinvented himself, and had several five-star matches. The sensible thing to do would’ve been for him to ride off into the sunset, with his career behind him and the respect of the entire industry.
But… and here’s where I’m about to get controversial on your ass – each year he comes back, he runs the risk of tarnishing his legacy.
He’s more beat up than he was before. He can’t go like he could do 5-10 years ago. Hell, he can’t go like he could 3 years ago. With every year that passes, and every other match he has, if he can’t do it, he shouldn’t. The man is 50+ years old, has been wrestling for three decades, and most importantly – has NOTHING left to prove. Not to me. Not to you. Not to anyone.
Nobody wants to see a beaten up Undertaker lurching through a 10-minute match just for the hell of it. It’s sad. Watching him gassed in the Rumble was pretty heartbreaking. He looked absolutely f**ked after about 5 minutes. He was breathing out of his ass. He almost screwed his elimination up too. He’s such a legend that if it were up to me, I wouldn’t be wheeling him out any more. He’s more than proven himself and doesn’t need to put himself through it anymore. Not at his age.
Having said ALL that, the likelihood is that he’ll go again – for another 2 years at least – and hang it up, probably at WM35 (if it’s in Texas again). So… that gives us 24 months (give or take) left to see a legend go out in a blaze of glory. Or fizzle out like a cheap, sh*t firecracker.
Let’s take it year by year between now and 2019 and I’ll run through who I’d book him against at the next 3 Manias.
WrestleMania 33 – AJ Styles
There’s nothing anyone needs to say about AJ Styles. He truly is his nickname – the Phenomenal One. This match would be perfect – Phenom vs Phenomenon. Let’s face it, Styles is so good he could wrestle a ghost and make you believe the ghost had a chance. 5 stars all the way before the bell had even rung.
Taker is now at the stage where he probably needs someone to guide him through the match and to be quite honest, he hasn’t had a good match at Mania since H-B-Shizzle was involved. For me, if Taker is to get back having the level of matches he’s had in previous years, Styles is the only man for the job.
It doesn’t even matter if Styles loses – much like it didn’t when Michaels lost. The performance, the competition and the match are what matters. The story is what counts. Not who wins and loses. Simply put, wrestling Styles would raise Taker’s game back up a notch. It needs it. Badly.
WrestleMania 34 – Seth Rollins
The Architect. The World’s Most Awkward Babyface. The Man. Seth Rollins.
Rollins has suffered tremendously since returning from injury. He’s paid the price for Finn Balor’s injury and Roman Reigns failure to get over with most of the audience as the new face of the company.
Make no mistake about it. Rollins is a tremendous wrestler. There’s nothing he can’t do. His entire moveset is designed to pop the crowd as a babyface. But… it’s not his time for that. Yet. He was just getting into his stride as a heel when he was injured in November 2015, and he hasn’t really got his steam back. In such cases, you can approach the lawyers helping the injured clients serving Metairie for legal support and file an injury claim to get compensation for your injury. The Car Accident Lawyers in Portland can also deal with other injury cases as well.
If Rollins turns heel sometime after WrestleMania, and is positioned as the top heel in the company for a solid year, beating everyone, he’d be a credible threat to Taker at Mania 34 in Nawlins.
He’s such a great d*ckhead heel. His cockiness, his smart-ass attitude and everything about him would make you want to see, and more importantly – pay to see – him get his ass kicked by the Deadman. And it keeps momentum going in terms of Taker’s revival.
WrestleMania 35 – Roman Reigns
Dun-ow, Dun-ow, Dun-ow, Dun-en-en-en, Dun-ow, Dun-ow… we go from the world’s most awkward babyface to the world’s most obvious heel. That is of course, in everyone’s eyes except Vince McMahon’s.
McMahon’s blatant refusal to turn Reigns heel (like Cena before him) is hurting Reigns in spectacular fashion. It’s not Roman’s fault. I kinda touched on this last week, but Reigns is a natural heel. As much of a good-looking son-bitch as he is, and as good of a professional wrestler as he is (yeah, I said it. Come at me!!!) the people haven’t taken to him.
Sometimes, it’s good to give the people what they want. Like ice-cream bars. So why not turn Reigns heel and let him run with it. People would eat. It. Up. They are DYING to hate Reigns. DYING. So just do it. Don’t have a heel Reigns vs a face Taker.
Have Reigns go in as this awkward babyface and turn him during the match. Have him just snap in frustration, at everything – mainly the fans. A kind of “you don’t like me whatever I do, so why I am trying? F**k you!” and just have him continually blast the Deadman. Beat him up badly. Then you let Taker look like he’s got a chance, before Reigns just ends him. Like THAT. Counter the Tombstone into a massive spear and it’s game over.
It accomplishes two things – not only does it put Reigns over as the biggest heel in the company – a role that he can embrace while he’s continuing to learn his craft before eventually becoming a massive babyface – but it also plays into Taker’s character – old school. The way the business works is for older stars to put new guys over on the way out. And if it’s in Texas and WWE are determined to run with Reigns as their guy, this is the way to end it.
No doubt there’ll be a few of you out there who disagree with more or less every word I’ve said. And that’s cool. But I’m hoping that some of you will think about it seriously and think “hey.. maybe he’s got a point!”.
The whole point of this today isn’t to sh*t on Taker’s legacy. It’s to stop him from sh*tting on it by wrestling when he can’t anymore. If he’s determined to keep going, make sure he’s not over-exposed. Put him in there with guys who know what they’re doing. Get some of his fire back before he rides off into the distance. Because when he’s gone, WWE will have a huge hole to fill.
SLTD Wrestling's resident Scottish Nightmare. Some of my content may not be suitable for younger readers or those who are easily offended!
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