I’m writing this on a Wednesday morning, so there are a few pre (and post) Raw things I want to get into before we get on with the usual below average revisit of Raw.
Reports have surfaced this morning that CM Punk “took his ball and went home”. To the people who say that, I have one thing to say – fuck you.
And I’m not saying that just because I’m a huge CM Punk fan. I’d say the same thing if it were someone I didn’t like too. The fact that he has (supposedly) left does not surprise me in the least. His booking has been spotty at best, he hasn’t looked happy for a while and he was never a fan of part-timers/older stars coming back and taking spots from guys who are on the road all year.
Let’s be honest here, he’s got a legitimate point. Batista’s a movie star in the making, that much is true. He isn’t as big as The Rock, but when Guardians of the Galaxy comes out later this year, he’ll be on red carpets and talk shows, so having him advertised as a WWE Superstar means exposure, and Vince loves that in every form.
Punk’s rumoured match with Triple H would’ve been high profile, but it probably be a middle of the card match, before even a Divas match, so I can understand why he isn’t happy about it.
His contract also expires in July, with a lot of people – including Punk himself – saying that he isn’t sure whether he’ll re-sign with WWE anyway, so his last goal of main-eventing WrestleMania seems unlikely now.
I expect that Vince will move heaven and earth to get him back because whether people like it or not, he’s the number 2 guy in the company behind Cena and he’s a genuine draw now. Whether it comes down to money or having Vince promise to elevate people who deserve it – such as Daniel Bryan and Antonio Cesaro etc – I hope that Punk returns sooner rather than later.
Vince has let his pride get in the way of doing what’s right before, but I honestly believe that the company will suffer without Punk in it, so watch this space as he will more than likely be back in 2-3 weeks.
I also wanted to touch on the Royal Rumble a bit. Obviously, judging by the crowd reaction, and the scuttlebutt online, a lot of people are not happy with Batista winning the Rumble.
That’s fine, be unhappy about it all you want. But saying things like “I won’t buy Mania now” or “Batista’s hogging the spotlight, I quit” aren’t going to change anything. And also, you’re not right.
Bryan wasn’t in the Rumble. Was that a bad business decision? Sure…but he was never advertised for it. Batista was rumoured to win the Rumble since word first leaked that he was coming back, so it shouldn’t have been a massive shock that he won.
And to the few people who said that Roman Reigns should have won? Just…stop! Reigns is good, bordering on great right now, and he had a hell of a showing in the Rumble match, but he’s not ready to be in the main-event at WrestleMania…yet.
I expect him to feature heavily at NEXT year’s WrestleMania, where it’s possible he’ll be contending for the title. It’s also likely that he’s a serious contender to win the Money in the Bank match, with a possible cash-in at SummerSlam, but right now, at this very moment, they are building him the right way.
We don’t need another Ryback. Reigns’ build is going well at the moment. He’s emerged as the dominant force in The Shield and he’s had some high profile wins over prominent superstars. Give it time. These things will happen. Don’t forget about Ambrose and Rollins either. They’re arguably even more talented and deserving of a main-event spot than Reigns (Rollins more than Ambrose in my eyes, but still).
Anyway, on to the mediocrity that was this weeks Raw.
HHH As A Heel Is Gold
Obvious foreshadowing
The Authority opened up Raw this week. Ordinarily, I’d use that as an opportunity to rant about how much I hate HHH. But if there’s one thing I love, it’s when HHH fully embraces the dark side and becomes a cocky heel who hates everyone. And he was in full heel mode tonight. No pandering. No picking on other bad guys. Just good, old-fashioned kayfabe dickery. Pure gold here folks.
The best part of this segment was something that I didn’t even think of until after I’d read the news about CM Punk this morning.
When you factor in the stories about CM Punk, HHH and Daniel Bryan’s confrontation was clearly foreshadowing a Mania match between them, which actually makes more sense than HHH/Punk did. Sorry Punk! Daniel Bryan was screwed over by HHH and The Authority for the better part of 2013 and he never truly got his retribution or even a legitimate title run. The story writes itself.
Bryan is sick of HHH holding him back and believes he is a better wrestler than HHH. HHH – both in real life and in storyline – believes that no-one is better than him. They have a match at Mania, Bryan wins and The Authority goes bye bye. This leads to Bryan challenging for the title – and winning – to get a nice couple of months as champ before dropping it to a guy who’s up-and-coming (e.g. Bray/Reigns/Cesaro) and he’s still in contention all throughout the year. Book it now (they probably won’t)!
The one thing that gives me hope for Bryan being a true main-event star is that with the advent of the WWE Network, the company won’t be looking at PPV buyrates as much anymore, which is both sad and great at the same time.
Also, I’d be remiss if I didn’t stick in a GIF of Rollins’ nice little tumble coming over the railing:
Car Sterio are back together!!
First of all, Zeb’s new thing where he has signs with funny racist things on them may be the greatest thing going in WWE right now. It’s just so great that you have to look past how terrible it is.
Secondly, I love that The Real Americans got a decisive emphatic win here, rather than a loss or a cheap roll-up/sneaky victory. Cesaro was on fire in the Rumble on Sunday and that continued on Raw, which is also great to see.
And thirdly, Car Sterio are back! Yes, Sin Cara, Rey Mysterio and Sin Cara are back together folks, which probably means that they’ll be fighting each other at WrestleMania. That’s been the plan for the last couple of years, but Rey’s been injured. Hopefully he can keep it together long enough to have the match and finally retire.
Grade: C (Good match, emphatic win!)
Brock Lesnar: The Lesser Of Three Evils
And then the ring collapsed under the weight of their egos
The crowd in Cleveland did not like Randy Orton or Batista on Monday night, which really makes you wonder what will happen when they have a match at WrestleMania in front of 80,000 people from all around the world. My guess? Garbage will be thrown in the ring at some point. You know that those guys aren’t popular when Brock Lesnar comes out and is the immediate fan favourite!
ADR vs Kofi Kingston, and The Usos vs Rybaxel happened. I don’t want to talk about it
I really don’t, so here’s a picture of a lion in a tree instead:
Tag Team Title Rematch is Latin for “Brock Lesnar Destroy”
Vintage Brock
The Tag-Team Championship rematch happened last night…sort of. The match was going on, but Brock Lesnar decided that he didn’t want to wait for his answer, so instead, he came out and destroyed Cody and Goldust. Just because…
Brock’s at his best when he’s destroying people, and I think this is all being done to lead up to him challenging the Undertaker’s WrestleMania streak. It makes him look like a legitimate threat, which is something that a lot of his previous challengers haven’t looked like going into their matches with him.
Disqualified To The Chamber
We all knew that the 3 Shield guys wouldn’t be in the Chamber match if Bryan and Cena weren’t, right? OK. Good. Intelligence wins! Still, the way they got there was strange. But it also set up something that a lot of people want to see.
Basically, the match went on, leaving Bryan and Rollins to steal the show, as usual. Then the Wyatts interfered, causing the DQ win for Cena, Bryan and Sheamus, which allowed those 3 to get their spots in the Chamber and it left The Shield with diddley squat.
But, but, but… the finish neatly set up the 6-man tag of all 6-man tags. A match that would make Teddy Long wet himself for 5 years straight – The Shield vs The Wyatt Family.
It’s a match that had to happen and, with the implosion of The Shield getting closer with each passing day, it needs to happen now. Based on news from the SmackDown tapings, the 2 remaining spots in the Chamber didn’t go to the people that I expected them to go to, but it was a pleasant surprise and it keeps things interesting heading into the Elimination Chamber.
And for those negative Nancy’s out there who think that Elimination Chamber will be terrible, console yourself with these two thoughts:
- Daniel Bryan’s in the main-event again
- It couldn’t possibly be worse than the Royal Rumble
Peace out!
***For more details on Monday Night Raw from 27th January, check out MFX 75 – The Raw Edition, which will go live on the site in the next couple of days!***
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